Sometimes it's hard, but we keep going or at least I know I do. I have had many people who have asked me "why are you always smiling?" or "How do you keep going?" and " you are so sick and in constant pain why do you keep going"
All I can say is I have too. For many of us who have returned from the horror that is war life is forever changed, our friends our gone and those who are still around.. Well they will never understand as most of them were not there. Family at times does not understand all they want to know is Whats wrong or what happened and we keep it to ourselves. Our Secrets are many and our internal wounds for some are great.They call it PTSD.
PTSD forever changed my Life and at times I think it was for the better. I have learned to cope, finally, after all these years. PTSD has wreaked havoc on my body as well. But I found the Answer for me was only 8 feet Away Straight down. or 25 feet straight up.
When I came home I retreated to one of two places at any given time. The Bottle of Rum or into the woods where I felt the most at home. Sure I made friends over the years few, who could never really understand but they are true friends who have accepted me for who I am and don't push the issue. We became good friends and ventured into the outdoors hunting and fishing and we had some grand adventures. Now that I have quit drinking as of 10 years ago. Life has become so much more invigorating.
When I said eight feet straight down, well that's what it was you see I was sitting in a friends ice shanty and I had a giant perch move into the H***, and there he sat. I tried every trick I could think of, I even made up some new words but that didn't work either. I was focused on that fish for over 20 minuites, nothing else mattered all I wanted was that fish, I forgot everything for a brief moment and never caught that fish. but that jumbo perch did so much more for me than if I would have caught him and fried him up.
I have used avoidance to deal with my problems, I have used Alcohol, Medicine and the list goes on and on. What happened to me on that day was the Best Medicine of all. That fish did more for me than any Doctor, pill, or drink ever did in 20 years.
Most of the friends I have made over the years I have found fishing or hunting. 25 feet up enjoying the great beauty and grand solitude that nature provides sitting in a tree waiting for a deer to pass by below and the funny thing is I do not even care if I see one. I do not hunt for trophies but rather food for my family.
I keep going and try to stay positive because I have found so many people cannot understand and never will, what some of us have gone through, I push and push. I get back up again when knocked down. We must stay focused on the things and people we love or we will fail. Yes I know it is hard I have been there and done that, but it can be done. This is one reason I started Veterans Outdoor World Inc. for my brothers and sisters wh have signed the dotted line. Who have seen what many will not. We are here for you and we are willing to talk and share, listen and care. We have walked the walk.
Please if you are suffering from PTSD or other problems or for that matter just want to get out let us know and we will do our best to try and make it happen. All Veterans are welcome, Male, Female, Combat or not, Physically challenged or what ever.
So Venture into the Outdoors and see what happens, you might be surprised.
Thank you Chris, I am sorry I have not chimed in for a long time but our organization is moving forward and have been going like crazy to keep it that way. You are the first person to have read my blog and I appreciate it thanks again.