Depression has always been something that has affected me my whole life. The exhaustion that others feel when they do their best to help me back up on my feet; I have later felt that in turn in this life.
But while I date my soldier, and while he has met this rough patch in his life right now; he won't speak to me much. While he and I usually get along fine, that we hardly fight, he never speaks of his own feelings.
I understand that "Oh he's a guy." That isn't an excuse in my book. Quite in fact, men are perfectly capable of voicing their own feelings; they just do it in their own way. He has PTSD and depression; I understand that, and I have it myself to some degree. However, you can still try. I went through life pushing through obstacles in life; I see no reason why he can't either. He is choosing to be miserable; to be isolated; to act like I'm non-existent. There are days now where I just have ceased going into trying to communicate with him. He is so stubborn it's aggravating and completely unfair to me; then again that's how life has always been for me. Watching my boyfriend go through his own depression, I feel like I'm behind glass. My pleas are falling on deaf ears; and another day that I gaze at him; eyes welling up with tears and begging him to talk to me - to stop being so distant. I am so frustrated that he's not even willing to try to talk things out. I know he can, he's just refusing to, and I don't know how much more I can take of this.
Right now it's raining in my head; and I can't seem to find an umbrella.