"helping the veteran and their families who survived the war, survive the peace"

How I know...

Since the lot of you share your own war stories; your own story of survival. It's time I shared mine. I would like all of you to keep in mind, that I am fully aware that there are more horrible things that have happened than my own personal experience.

When I was six years old, I was strangled by a girl whom lived down the street from me. While I was blacked-out I can remember vaguely seeing Death. He told me it wasn't my time.

After that I was molested for a few years by my own brother.

I was about eight or nine when it happened. I didn't tell anyone until I was seventeen; it was through my therapist. It wasn't until I was twenty-one that I saw my father hear the news from my mom. I can still remember that day as if it happened just hours before. He sat there, and when he came back inside he didn't say a damned thing to me. For a few hours he stared into the distance. he didn't hug me, he didn't even set his hand on my shoulder.

While I was in my own house; I stared into the face of the person who stole something from me every day. Every day was not any easier for me as life usually isn't. I went through Hell at home; and the repercussions have become extraordinary.

I know what it feels like to hate going to sleep because of the constant visions that go on in my head. I know what it feels like to hate surviving what happened to me. Suicide personally would be better because I want to stop those visions from appearing right before my eyes. They're small flashes, but nonetheless they throw me off at times depending on what my head decides to do.

In my own right; I am a survivor and I know what it's like to never escape those terrible memories no matter how much I want to.

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Comment by Robert Wiederhold on January 11, 2013 at 9:04pm: Lauren suicide is never the answer Please just a simple thing that happens to work for me and millions of others ask God for help he will I promise I to know hate and well I was blinded in Viet Nam 1968 and know fer hate etc God is the answer good luck Bob

Comment by Raymond F. De La Cerna,Sr on January 8, 2013 at 2:39pm: I know what you are talking about. I to was molested by my Step Grandfather in fact he molested just about all in the family. I and my brother yuonger then me wear taken out of the house. We were adopted and lived a very good life. I went in the ARMY right out of school and retired after 23 years. I was shot down in vietnam . When i did my 2nd tour I was a Cobra Pilot but i was lucky to come home alive. There was many of them that did not make it home alive or did not make it home at all. Take care all of you.

Comment by Robert Wiederhold on December 11, 2012 at 11:13am: I hope you do get onwith life suicide is not the solution please pray to god and I 'am sure you will see a better way please if there is anything I can do let me know I was blinded at 19 years old in viet nam and can relate to hating the fact that I survived it is called survicors guilt there are many good services provided by the va and other organizations please let them help thank you for sharing your very personal andheart felt story Bob.